Kathleen, Queen of the Desert

I walked right into a really, really, really fancy hotel: the most expensive and exclusive hotel in Paris. THE HOTEL DE CRILLON. It’s the hotel where Marie-Antoinette took piano lessons. A hotel so good, the Nazi high command commandeered it for their headquarters during the occupation of Paris 1940-44. (“Let those SS counterintelligence idiots take the Hotel Lutetia; we’re taking the Crillon!”)

A hotel so good that former Guns N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose (shown below) chose to rent a room there. Perhaps the Crillon staff thought that would be okay since the American Embassy–and its large security staff–is next door. Those policemen outside our embassy are serious.

 

But my cousin and I didn’t go to the Hotel de Crillon (“cree-yonh”) to catch a glimpse of Axl (or, for my cousin, George Clooney). We went for the high tea with champagne in the Winter Garden.

The Hotel de Crillon, pictured above, is a five-star hotel, with 103 guest rooms and 44 suites. It occupies one of two identical stone buildings constructed in 1758 by order of King Louis XV and was once the palace of the Duke of Crillon. Both buildings were to serve as government offices and the eastern one continues to this day as the French Naval Ministry. (The International Auto Club is also just east of the hotel.) The western building was made into a luxury hotel, however, and was soon frequented by Queen Marie Antoinette and her friends. The teen queen took piano lessons there. Ironically, in 1793 Marie Antoinette later lost her head to the guillotine in just a hundred yards away. She was 38 years old. A plaque on the ground is all that memorializes the execution. Her remains are buried at St. Denis Cathedral.

My cousin and I used the bathroom before going up to the plush chairs and sofas that look out on the Winter Garden. The toileting experience alone was worth the price of the tea. The golden, ornate features, the marble, and red carpets helped us ignore the elegant woman washing her hands . . . with her dog.

Each year, the Hôtel de Crillon holds an annual Bals de Debutantes (Debutante Ball) to benefit the Pierre and Marie Curie Foundation (supporting a cancer center). The event is a coming out party for 24 women, 15 to 19 years old. All are members of the international social set who wear gowns representing international fashion houses. American presidential niece, Lauren Bush (shown below) was presented at the 2000 ball. Her appearance led to a modelling contract.

    

My cousin and I sat on an elegant couch and the wait captain was our server. He was as elegant and deferential as Anthony Hopkins in Remains of the Day. In fact, my definition of elegance is the respect shown by a well-trained and impeccably discreet service provider. This man was elegance personified. Even to me in my pants, running shoes (at least they were black), and backpack. I tried to be discreet about stashing my backpack behind my chair. Our waiter didn’t bat an eyelash. Though I noticed that neither my cousin nor I were offered any modeling contracts.

Celebrities who favored the Crillon were Jacqueline Onassis, Charlie Chaplin, Orson Welles, Elizabeth Taylor, Tyrone Power, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Madonna, and of course Axl. One of the Crillon’s suites is named after Leonard Bernstein and contains one of his pianos.

I thought maybe I spotted an American director having tea with a beautiful woman sitting at a table across from us. Sidney Lumet? Sidney Pollack? Maybe the actor Steve Landesberg from the old Barney Miller show? I couldn’t be sure. But it was the kind of place Sidney Lumet or Pollack or Steve Landesberg would have taken a beautiful woman.

My cousin and I had “Marie Antoinette” tea with small sandwiches and a selection of pastries. We then were served a glass of wonderful champagne. After my cousin praised the tea, our waiter told us we could purget it at a shop several blocks away. He patiently explained the shop’s location . . . twice. We were charmed by the hotel ambience and charmed by our wait person. The Crillon was everything we’d hoped for, except maybe for the nonsighting of George Clooney.

For more information on your next decadent occasion plus some pretty cool music, go to the hotel’s Web site:    http://www.crillon.com/crillon.html