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If My Husband Ran Christmas

Originally published in LLL of New Mexico’s Enchantment, 1987

Las winter, as I was pushing our grocery cart up to the checkout stand, my husband pointed to a display of bakery-made pumpkin pies on sale for 99 cents and said, “Why don’t we just take some of these to the party?” As I pulled out $10 worth of ingredients for a homemade pumpkin pie, I said, “And deny myself the pleasure of hours of work and shooing children out of the kitchen?” We laughed.

This winter, though, I think about that incident and wonder if my husband ran things this Christmas, we might have a more relaxed, economical, restful, and family-centered Christmas.

Tom would have bought that 99-cent pie and sat down to watch “Charlie Brown’s Christmas Carol” with the kids for the evening. He would probably forget about putting together an elaborate Christmas letter, not cruise the Hallmark stores for delightful and meaningful cards or–worse yet–make them himself, and not use elaborate calligraphy on the envelopes. He’d probably be content to call a few people New Year’s Day and, if he forgot a few people, not worry at all that they had to call him in February to find out about our family.

There would be no decorated sugar cookies, no new ornaments for the tree, and no poinsettia plants on the table. He’d make do with the thousand or so ornaments we already have and play Candyland with the kids on the clear table. He wouldn’t frost 20 hand-formed gingerbread men for the neighborhood kids. Instead, he might invite some families in for wine (and not even vacuum) and then shoo them out because he was packing for a snow camping and skiing trip with his little sons in the morning.

As winter festivities approach, we would do well to remember what’s important. Pies, homemade or store-bought, will be forgotten. Sugar cookies, ornaments, cards, presents, homemade wrapping paper–all those things women’s magazines tell us are necessary for a warm, family Christmas–disappear in a heartbeat. Listen to your family. What do they want? Do they want to watch your back in the kitchen for six weeks? Do they want a frazzled mom every morning because she stayed up until 2 AM addressing cards? Does your husband want to sit down on your “Baby’s First Christmas” needlepoint everytime he wants to relax? Ask your husband, ask your children, ask yourself. In La Leche League, we believe in family first. Family first would be especially true during the holidays if my husband ran Christmas.

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