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What could I not know? From teacher to mother.

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

Like many young teachers, I thought caring for young children was pretty much the same whether you taught them in a classroom or raised them at home. I loved parent-teacher conferences where moms asked my advice and I welcomed encouraging them to strengthen educational practices at home. After all, I’d studied early childhood education, had taught in a preschool, I’d studied Jean Piaget, and was an experienced primary classroom educator. I was also 34 years old and had been to Europe three times already. What could I not know?

Then came Sam.

I’m not sure any amount of Piaget PowerPoints, developmental stages workshops, roomfuls of squirmy first-graders, or tours of London, Paris, and Rome, could have prepared me for my little four-week-early bundle of love. His birth connected me to generations of my own grandmothers, from Ohio and Michigan to rural Holland and the dark forests of southern Germany. Breastfeeding connected me to my peasant stock throughout northern Europe.

It was if becoming a mother woke me up from a deep ancestral sleep, reached back to my grandmothers, as my mother had not nursed me or my brothers. Now, three sons later, I’m fully awake and dedicated to helping mothers around the world breastfeed.

But PowerPoints, workshops, classes, and tours weren’t there for mothering. It was breastfeeding that showed the way. From trusting my instincts to soothing emotional storms, nursing my babies taught me everything. The memories and nursing instincts teach me still. I didn’t know the intensity of mothering, but my own body and my mothering ancestry took me to school.

The really, really well-made frame carrier

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

There is no baby monitor like keeping baby next to you all the time. And, although I had infant pouches and Over-the-Shoulder slings throughout my little-boy-raising career, another useful carrying tool for me was the frame “backpack” carrier. My husband and I were both committed to raising an outdoorsy family in our home along the Pecos River in southern New Mexico, a treasure of caves, mountains, and deserts. The carrier joined that commitment with keeping our babies close. (Continued)

Shift-work parenting

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

Parenting doesn’t always split into daytime and nighttime. My early parenting challenge was my husband’s shift work at a New Mexico potash mine. “Shift work” means rotating shifts, not just one shift throughout. Tom would work day shift for a week, have a day and a half off, then work swing shift for a week, then have a day and a half off, and then work graveyard shift. We’d get a glorious four days off before day shifts began again. (Continued)

Nursing a toddler in traction

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

My little two-year-old nursling Eddie was in traction and a spika cast for six days. He had a spiral fracture of the femur from jumping off a friends’ couch in Albuquerque while we were watching the Rose Parade on New Years Day 1988. Taken to the emergency room with our friends’ paperback books lashed together for a splint, Eddie had to endure too much handling, too many X-rays, and too many doctors and nurses.

What he did not have to endure was separation from his mother or a break in nursing. (Continued)

In touch with the ancients

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

As the family genealogist, I have always had a strong sense of personal history. Not just the Dutch, German, English, and Scottish names on the charts I’ve filled out since 1963, but the living, breathing work of families. The struggles and migrations. The arguments and separations. The marriages and divorces. The babies who lived and the babies who died. (Continued)

Six hours apart won’t hurt, will it?

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com.

What could they have been doing to my little boy that afternoon for six hours? I’d just given birth four weeks early, his little almost six-pound body slithering out of me like a magical fish. Those blue eyes staring out at us. Twenty-seven years later, I can see them still. Our Indian doctor cooing and chirping about how good baby looked. My husband crying in his wrinkly blue paper clothes. (Continued)

Do I need fancy nursing clothes to nurse in public?

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com.

Fancy? A $40 camisole from Motherwear? Some $50 fancy-flap blouses? A $120 nursing dress? Well, no. You can nurse quite successfully in many kinds of normal clothes, like a T-shirt, a stretchy camisole, or a tank top and a light shirt for a bit more coverage. I found, however, that a few specially designed nursing tops and nightgowns helped me feel pretty, special, and comfortable during my nursing career. (Continued)

The baby-friendly community vs. the deserted island

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com

Mothers sometimes say they wish they could just go to a deserted island while they’re nursing their babies. How could this be? Wouldn’t they be lonely? Wouldn’t they need other people to help them? Wouldn’t they want to talk to everyone about their beautiful babies?

Yes, mothers would get lonely, but being alone often appeals to mothers because so often they’re criticized and reprimanded. Told to nurse in a bathroom stall. Asked to leave a restaurant or use a blanket on a plane or pressured to wean when they and baby are not ready. Made to feel unwanted in social settings. Embarrassed for feeding their children in the most natural and healthy way every known. (Continued)

Women sitting in cars

Have you recently been on the road with a useless woman? A woman who thinks she never has to serve the driver, clean a window, check the oil, or pump gas herself? Was it because I was alone on my latest 1,300 mile road trip and noticed how most women sit like sticks in the passenger seat at a gas stop? If there’s one man on a road trip, is he somehow mandated to be the one outside pumping gas? Is it me, or do most women in cars sit like queens while the man is out in the weather taking care of business?

If you’re a man, this is what you need to teach your daughters and expect your girlfriends and wives to do. If you’re a woman, this is what you need to teach yourself and expect your daughters and girlfriends to do. (Continued)

103 minutes of Eastern drek

Film review: GERRY

“A triumph!” “Provocative!” “Visually spectacular!” “One of the year’s 10 best!” (best what is not specified) were the blurbs on the back of this film I got from the library. The exclamation points alone should have tipped me off that this was going to be outrageously bad, and famously Bostonian Matt Damon and Casey Affleck should have been ashamed to have had anything to do with this crap. Shame on them that they shared writing credits with director Gus Van Sant. I’m guessing the three of them were driving out to Wendover one July with beers in their laps, looked around and thought, “Wow! A guy could get pretty lost out here!” and then somebody started writing stuff down, and voila, this drek. (Continued)